lucashii's Xanga

"When the world is watching"

Fri, 29 Aug 2008 13:16:19 GMT

Tired. I am tired of having no privacy. I am tired of having to be a slave of anyone. I am tired of having no one to understand. I am tired of everyone wanting me to be someone I am not.

Give me a break. Give me my own privacy.

Tired. I wonder why everyone keep talking behind. Couldn't you mind your own business?Do you not have your own life?Do I need to answer to you?Give me some privacy. Unlike you. I am not an attention whore.

Tired. I need my own space. Just because sometime I feel nice does not mean I will always be nice. The easiest shortcut out is to escape and dump your load on others. Take up your own responsibility. I am not your slave to rely or command upon.

Tired. I wonder when these arguments will stop?Why do we always argue over small things that doesn't even matter?Do I need to debate with you over the same thing over and over again that has no ending nor would you understand.

I am really tired when no one tries to understand but everyone just wants you to be what you're not...I wonder why life has to be this complicated sometimes.

.

Mon, 28 Jul 2008 03:08:17 GMT

moved

Sat, 10 May 2008 00:44:46 GMT

I have moved my blogging over to http://www.xanga.com/lucashii2008 at the moment~

"Back From Somewhere"

Fri, 02 May 2008 08:48:58 GMT

Went down to Miri for the past two days to clear my thoughts. I needed rest from this hectic world. I needed a safe haven.

I have no desire but you at the moment. I walk the street looking at things, materials that I don't need. A self made millionaire said that money could only buy temporary happiness, real long lasting happiness are found in doing the things you love, hearing the laughter of your children or even holding the hands of your love ones.

I admire my peers for being so battle-hardened. Picking themselves up over the same failure seems effortless. I am not afraid of failure, I am more afraid of getting people caught up in it.

Just one more chance is all I need.

"I don't need understanding, I just need you to know..."

"Rules Are Meant To Be Broken"

Mon, 28 Apr 2008 12:05:14 GMT

Because of you, I have broken the ground rule I laid down myself and I am not the sort of person who would break any rules I set for myself. You made me think about all the things I wouldn't have done nor say.

Even if I don't show it, I do.

"Where To Now?"

Sun, 27 Apr 2008 12:09:41 GMT

I am person who sometimes do things on impulse, then again its been a while. After all is said and done, where to now?Someone once told me "If you think too much, you'll never accomplish anything". Its true, if you keep thinking on how you're going to fall to your agonizing death if you cross the rocking bridge, you'll never going to even walk on it.

Sometimes I am afraid to try because once you walk past that bridge, there will be more new challenges that will present itself and to be honest I not ready yet. Even though I have grown to be more mature, I understand that the more you said and do will require more responsibility.

I'll try, as long as you give me this chance. As long as God give me this strength.

"First Time - Misunderstood"

Sat, 26 Apr 2008 13:55:15 GMT

Maybe I misunderstood?Maybe its my misconception that has lead me to believe things I shouldn't have?In the end it doesn't really matter either because I did it anyway. I guess when you hope for perfection, it will always be spoilt. Time to move on. Get on with life.

I thank God.

"Bad Hairdo"

Mon, 21 Apr 2008 12:56:09 GMT

I went to the hair saloon which I have been going for 2 years on the weekend to get a trim. In the end I found out the person who always cuts my hair was being sacked. So the bos there told me "don't worry, I'll have one of my boys have your hair fix in a jiffy". Oh they fix my hair alright.

A bulky men who I suspect seen in the newspaper for wanted drug trafficking came and asked "how would it be?". I just hate having to explain how I want me hair not to be mess up after 2 years of being pampered by the person whow doesn't even ask the length I want my sideburn to be.

After being seated, the convict begin chirping off my hair while continuously shoving his long finger in my face. Oi mate, could u not just hold the damn scissor like every normal person instead of needing to hold it as if you are trying to give me the finger?Jeez no one is going to award you Nobel For Best Scissor Holding, dipshit.

If turning my face into a molten cheese isn't enough, his hands reak tobacco. If you're going to poke my face every 6 seconds with your nobel scissor holding, at least have your hand smell like angel or whatever. I don't want to have a sniff at that awful smell and ponder have you wash your hands after toilet?

The best part is, these all aren't the best part. I suspect the convict can't even operate a microwave let alone trying to tell him "No mate you're trying to do a mohawk there!". In the end I look like someone who has tripped and have a lawn mower run through my head which would look fantastically better than a half-ape-con trying to destroy my hair with a plyer while dismantling my face.

So yeah I was pissed, I told him to stop halfway before he uses a blow torch on my head. The haircut was as useless as a snooze button on the fire alarm. I am taking my hair to somebody else thank you very much.

"Glitch In Life"

Sun, 20 Apr 2008 10:18:50 GMT

"There is always that book that no matter how many times you read it, there is no true meaning to it..."

At the moment you're that book that I am trying to read. Someone back then used to tell me I flirted too much and so I am now more serious. Then again I use sacarsm as a medicine to remedy situations that are out of my hand. Good guys always finishes last, how many times have I seen this scenario?The ironic thing is to quote from my sis "no matter how hard you try to be bad, in the end you're good because you are". Yeah sis if you still read this blog, you're right.

I took down something I wrote just a while ago because after 4 years, yes I have been blogging for more than 4 years. I won't break the tradition of writing anything senseless emotion on my blog anymore.

Sometimes life has its ups and downs. There is no right and wrong, there is only misconception. If you feel that what you are doing now is correct then continue on even if its wrong but at least it makes you feel better about it. It makes me feel better about it too.

I did this today as a part of how I am feeling right now. Just between black and white one could find hope or failure the person chooses. The other message is left to your own imagination as mine will be keep within me.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Thu, 17 Apr 2008 11:03:11 GMT

Its hard to be myself sometimes, I hate myself for all the right reason. I wish the timing could have been better.